The Most Insane Fluff Story Ever: Des Moines Register Fawns Over Kamala Harris | Trending News

2019-07-07T14:33:21+00:00 July 7th, 2019|

All right everyone it’s time to get your vomit bags ready because when I just read the title of this some of you will feel a little bit queasy it isn’t a sappy syrupy hyperbolic over-the-top stupid fucking title I’ve ever seen from a legacy medially this comes from the Des Moines Register now keep in mind Des Moines Register big in Iowa the first state to vote over the Democratic primaries it does matter who the press they’re sort of likes I think they’re tilting in a certain direction here this is an opinion piece but I’m gonna read just the title and go into a little of its content and then …


Continue reading… then I’m basically you know I wish I had a barf bag essentially so I mean let me open this this is verbatim this is linked in the description archive of course Des Moines Register uses a paywall but fuck the paywall archive dot is it’ll bill go around it it doesn’t care unlike the web page like the the Wayback Machine respects websites that say don’t archive me archived on is doesn’t give a fuck Kamala Harris ruthless but nurturing hand cuts each french fry has husband’s ex to dine and it’s just a yeah it’s like you might as well their their next story Kamala Harris adopts a puppy she’s really cute when she gets licked on the face Kamala Harris loves the animals look at her playing with kittens for a 10-minute video loop Kamala Harris the ears are pretty garden she has lots of flowers what a wonderful woman she is come on this isn’t journalism what the fuck are you talking about that was crazy thing ever see mouths she hand cuts each Frederick so so so here’s the thing Kamala Harris she’s a tough whip smart go-getter she really prosecutes those fucking criminals you know those inner-city disadvantaged black people she used to put away for truancy and simple drug possession for extended sentences yeah that’s that’s not the only side of Kamala we really like that tube you know because we’re fucked up but she also when she makes dinner for her husband she makes dinner for him and she’s such a lovely wife she hand cuts it she hand cuts each Fri she doesn’t even use a mechanical apparatus she literally she slices each fucking potato and brings a tear to my eye it’s so beautiful how loving she is and she even allows his ex-wife to come over and eat dinner with them because I guess she’s a family friend or something what are you smoking in what realm of reality number one does this have any fucking shit to do with her platform her path non-existent platform of Trump is a racist and and that’s about it what does this have to do with policymaking what does this have to do with personality who fucking cares about personality you know who is really personal george w bush yeah he’s really hey I’m such a cute man I’m a little bit befuddled sometimes but I’m harmless why don’t you have a beer with me that was George w shtick by the way it is just a stick it’s like when Elizabeth Warren’s like oh I know how to have more human interest I’ll put a fucking webcam in my kitchen and then I’ll very-very cringe Li open a beer and and sip it down while I talk to my husband and cook some random powwow Chow or something or better O’Rourke’s a goofball haircut that time yeah how well that went over more human interest tabloid sputum for the low info voter oh is it here’s the thing cuz Kamala Harris she shoots up after the debate performance right she’s seen as sort of professional istic and and tough neoliberal from the last gen she’s a 2000 s model neoliberal so to speak her prosecutorial record is nuts her prosecutorial record is taking young black men and putting them in prison for long periods of time for having a joint or or or black teenagers for skipping school how is this say how is this I don’t understand it you think the fact that she hand cuts her french fries is newsworthy you think the fact that she doesn’t mind if her husband does things behind her back with his ex-wife which it probably does I can’t imagine he’s doing much on the surface with Kamala you think that that’s newsworthy that has anything to do with why someone should vote for by the way let me tell you a cautionary thing here again to the Liberals Hillary Clinton already tried this sort of bullshit oh no I’m tough but personable I’m like mama bear that doesn’t work with female voters anymore it backfired in a spectacular you put Kamala Harris up there it’ll backfire even worse especially since some of those voters are still highly Christian what’s Kamala Harris yeah ask yourself that question please and then get back to me now Kamala Harris is not a viable contender for the presidency if she becomes the nominee she’s going to lose it’s like you’ve got a few people that could’ve buddy geek could maybe when Biden would put up a fight but you know he’s making so many mistakes it’s no longer clear that he’ll be the nominee even though he he should be a shoo-in but he’s the GAF Master Elite Warren could compete but I think she would lose because of baggage Kamala Harris is arguably the least qualified arguably Kamala Harris of the of the five viable contenders left in the DEM field because nobody else is gaining any traction they’ve all died off the buddy gig is close to that level if he doesn’t do something good at the next debater have a really shiny moment shoot up a few points he’ll eventually decline and then you’ll have four of those for at least Kamala Harris is uniquely the least qualified I would say the funny part being she’s the one who’s of the most appropriate age range within the entire upper echelon of the field buddy gig is in his 30s and the rest of Myr in their 70s Kamala Harris is in her mid 50 she’s more of a you know an average age for a presidential contender but she lose against Trump around the time that he brings up a I passed comprehensive prison reform to help unrehearsed the damage that people like you overzealous prosecutors did to inner-city communities haha Kamala yeah can you say he doesn’t have to worry about competing in North Carolina or Virginia anymore or Florida he’s gonna sweet he’ll sweep the blue parts of these states he would crush the living shit out of Kamala Harris based on her record alone based on her regular and then he can bring up Tupac he can say oh yeah I met Tupac Shakur once he never mentioned you that would be funny can you imagine to be the pop-culture icon of the race that’d be fuckin hilarious she hand cuts every french fry I don’t care about her french fry cooking skills yeah an Elizabeth Warren she swears that she only drinks one beer at a time she’s not a drunk like Hillary Clinton Joe Biden no he eats his pizza there oh yeah I hear he has his steak medium-well instead of well-done this has nothing whatsoever to do with presidency this has nothing to do with I I want to hear about policies that affect me what’s your tax proposal in Kamala Harris’s case it’s double my taxes so fuck me basically well how are you going to address the student loan crisis oh well just throw free money to everyone fuck inflation fuck the economy fuck the whole fucking world I don’t care about the middle class dry up and die but I’ll give you student loan forgiveness that you’ll quickly have undone by excessive taxation over two or three years in my case it would probably take about four or five years of excessive taxation under any of the Dems plans for me to pay back every penny of the debt forgiveness that I got so fuck me I don’t even break even I get fucked in the ass under virtually all of these plans especially Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren they’ve come out with more comprehensive numbers what’s kamala gonna do she’s a fart and trying to out far left everyone in the field so what’s your tax plan 90% upper marginal rate 99% a hundred and 1% we’re just gonna vamper eyes everyone fuck the whole world yeah America man bad essentially his Kamala Harris plan I guess no thanks I don’t care about the fact that you’re friendly with your husband’s ex-wife I don’t give a fuck it doesn’t matter to me that’s their personal life there’s nothing to do with her in politics there’s nothing to do with the ability to govern I didn’t watch it so she can govern things well because she can make french fries I can cook french fries it’s not that difficult yeah okay maybe they’re not as good as Kamala Harris spicy Cajun serve fries who gives a shit who cares then why don’t you just have these guys have a cook-off if this is the way that we’re going to judge who becomes president let’s make it like a fucking reality show and we’re gonna have them go through challenges first is the fitness test so we’re gonna make you do like a few push-ups and to see you’re gonna make you run the mile or something have them drop dead so it’ll thin the field out real quick that’ll be great so we’re gonna make you run a mile all right tops we be top speed and if you’re in the lower half we just fucking kick your ass out then we’re gonna have a cooking challenge Kamala Harris comes out number one as she makes her cajun steak fries it’s stuff like buddy what are you gonna have a drinking contest to who can chug the most beers and this is buddy Gerson oh I’m alcohol intolerant yeah I’ll have an allergic reaction to Isis too bad we don’t need weaklings as our president we need you to be able to drink Putin under the table so we’re gonna have that thrown in this is this is bread and circus bullshit and this is coming from the Des Moines Register they should be ashamed of even putting the fucking article out that’s about all Pisa